0 Kudo
Morals and Ethics
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 Miss Moppet |
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Posts: 32517 (03/09/09 3:14 PM) Reporter Cheese |
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 zan |
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Posts: 12933 (03/09/09 3:17 PM) Bishop Cheese |
Moppet, Salon's Broadsheet has a good write up on Gene's story.
It also goes into the comments in reaction to the Post story and how they reflect, to some extent, the same kind of comforting notion that "it could
never happen to me!"
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Miss Moppet |
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Posts: 32518 (03/09/09 3:43 PM) Reporter Cheese |
You know, even if you think it COULD never happen to you, there's no reason for a lack of compassion.
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FinnanHaddie |
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Posts: 10882 (03/09/09 5:10 PM) Fishy Cheese |
I think people are generally going to react with horror and anger over the death of a small child, especially when it's because of the forgetfulness of the
parent. That doesn't mean they should inflict that reaction on the parent, though.
It occurs to me that one reason I think "it could never happen to me!" is because I'm not a parent, so whenevery I am in charge of kids I'm on hyper-alert. I don't know if that would stay true if I were in charge of a child all the time. |
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CeeBeeGee |
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Posts: 2466 (03/10/09 12:24 AM) HotHotHot Collarbones Cheese |
I read that article today. Oh MAN. That...that poor man, the one who adopted the kid from Russia, the one in the online pictures. It is bringing tears to my
eyes even now. Those poor, broken people, they are in a literal hell, THEY did that to their own child. How unbelievably, terribly sad.
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stegasaurus |
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Posts: 5162 (03/10/09 1:06 PM) Züger alpkäse |
The St. Pete Times was my home paper for like 10 years. I used to read it cover to cover. Not so much with the paper here.
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zan |
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Posts: 13027 (03/19/09 5:21 PM) Bishop Cheese |
Amy Benfer, at Broadsheet, has a
good response to this William Saletan column at Slate.
The crux of the case that Saletan outlines is that two women went into an in vitro fertilization clinic in Japan and one woman was implanted with two embryos of her own and one embryo of another couple (they think). When the woman was informed that she might be carrying someone else's child, she terminated that pregnancy (while apparently carrying the other embryos to term). I tend to agree with Benfer that I don't think that this case says anything more profound about the choice to end a pregnancy than any other abortion case. (And I also don't like Saletan's assumption that pro-choice means "no agonizing" but whatever). But I do wonder what I would do, in that case. I would like to think that if it were a healthy embryo and presenting no danger to the other babies, that I would carry it to term. But it is complicated because carrying triplets wouldn't be easy. And the notion of inadvertently carrying someone else's child does strike me as slightly horrifying. |
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FinnanHaddie |
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Posts: 10951 (03/20/09 2:33 PM) Fishy Cheese |
I'd also like to think I'd carry to term and give the third child to its biological parents, but I really have no idea if I'd be that generous.
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ren au |
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Posts: 3792 (03/23/09 6:04 AM) Australische Kase |
This seemed the best place to post about this issue
Small rundown. The Australian govt is trying to set up a web filter. They're saying that its only for illegeal stuff, but a supposed list was release (on wikileaks, which has crashed) included a lot of info that isn't for illegeal stuff (such as gay porn, and some weird websites. The article goes into a bit more detail) Its not a huge issue here ATM, with smaller ISP places running trials of it. However if it is attempted to be put into law? I'll be marching for an early election. It is SUCH a freedom of speech issue. My goverment can stay the fuck out of my computer and not tell me what the hell I can see. Australia will go up in flames before this gets passed and this issue alone would have me voting for the Liberal govt (and I thought it would be a cold day in hell before I'd do that, but this is worse than ANYTHING Howard ever did) at the next election. Of course one of the arguements 'this will stop child porn, are you for child porn' which is stupid as child porn is illegeal and the majority of it isn't Australian made anyways. There are laws to deal with child porn. It makes me sick to think that we're even consedering this. I love my country, and have put up with a lot, but I won't put up with government censorship. The day this becomes law is the day I start looking at what country I can move to, because I refuse to live in a dictatorship and that is the first step towards it. |
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zan |
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Posts: 13043 (03/23/09 10:04 AM) Bishop Cheese |
I can understand your frustration, ren. That falls so far outside what the American culture or law would find
acceptible, in terms of our First Amendment rights, that I can't even imagine any American government trying it (even the Bush administration). I
certainly understand that there are dangers on the Internet but there are much better ways to regulate that.
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ren au |
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Posts: 3793 (03/23/09 10:06 AM) Australische Kase |
Especilly since most of the stuff that they're trying to ban (or saying its what its for) is ALREADY illegeal.
I'm just so, so mad over it. The list that was posted, anyone who posts it (even newspapers) can go to gaol if they post it, or be fined. Its INSANE. The ISPs are leading the fight ATM, but once it hits Parliament (though I hope it never gets that far) its going to be massive. |
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zan |
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Posts: 13044 (03/23/09 10:13 AM) Bishop Cheese |
Would the software have to be installed in order for those sites to be banned? That makes it a smidge more acceptable - at least people would have some
control over it. But honestly, the fact that the government is creating the list to be included in the software package makes it very Big Brother-esque so even
then, I would object.
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ren au |
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Posts: 3794 (03/23/09 10:28 AM) Australische Kase |
No, it wouldn't be voluntary. Its straight up censorship.
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zan |
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Posts: 13137 (04/02/09 6:31 PM) Bishop Cheese |
The Boston Globe's Miss
Conduct has an interesting post up on her blog about the giving and receiving of compliments. First of all, she is talking about a Cary Tennis article,
just like we do! However, it is from a column of his back in February that I didn't actually read. Anyway, a person wrote into Tennis saying that he has a
hard time giving compliments because he thinks that they feel forced and not genuine. It doesn't sound as if he doesn't believe people around him
deserve compliments, just that he doesn't feel that he is giving them from a genuine place.
I can sort of understand how he feels. A lot of times, if someone around me is distressed, I will compliment them as a way to make them feel better and then I wonder if they feel as if I am being transparent and only trying make them feel better. But I usually try to make sure my compliment is based in fact, so that it feels genuine to me, even if the situation is a little artificial. I am not always comfortable receiving compliments, either, but I attribute that to gender and to being socialized, as a woman, to try to downplay any compliments. I don't love it and if I always thank people for their compliments but still, I tend to still feel uncomfortable about them. |
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Miss Moppet |
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Posts: 32913 (04/02/09 6:58 PM) Reporter Cheese |
Oh my heavens. Well, I'm feeling extremely unhappy today so I'll just come right out and say I think these people are socially stunted. If you
can't give a compliment because it feels like a bribe to you, something's wrong in your head that needs fixing. Usually when I compliment someone it is
out of a genuine desire to make them feel good, because I feel good by making other people feel good, because I'm not an emotional imbecile like some of
Cary Tennis' letter writers.
And I enjoy receiving compliments and I have learned to accept them with grace, the way I'd like my own complements to be received. There's a woman I work with who I just cannot compliment any more because she spends so much time putting herself down that she totally ruins the moment. She makes me feel like I'm wrong in my complimentary opinions. And she also is an overcomplimenter ("that was the best story I ever read!" Um, I bet not.) By the way, giving compliments "just to make someone feel better?" Works for me! What better time to give someone a compliment? A genuine compliment to lift someone's spirits seems to me to come from a very human, and humane, place. ETA: By the way, I have a girlfriend who wrote a letter to Cary Tennis! Hoo boy. If it runs, I'll let ya'll know. |
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zan |
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Posts: 13138 (04/02/09 7:10 PM) Bishop Cheese |
By the way, giving compliments "just to make someone feel better?" Works for me! What better time to give someone a compliment? A genuine compliment to lift someone's spirits seems to me to come from a very human, and humane, place.Oh sure. But I want them to understand that I really mean the compliment, even if I am saying it in a time of distress. Really, it is only a vague feeling that I have and I suppose that is different from the thing that this particular Cary Tennis LW was talking about. I would agree that if you can't give a compliment to your kids without feeling it is genuine, you are probably a bit on the emotionally stunted side. |
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Stellaluna69 |
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Posts: 5368 (04/02/09 7:16 PM) Choose Your Own Cheese |
I was thinking about this the other day when I was having lunch with a vendor, because I complimented her ring, and then I noticed she had cute shoes and later
I noticed a cute necklace, but I didn't want to keep complimenting her because then it would seem phony (even though it wasn't! It's not my fault
she has good taste!).
I remember a long time ago working with a slightly dotty older lady who for a while would make me feel good by extravagently complimenting me and my looks each time I saw her. Once I realized she did it EVERY time, I did feel that it was insincere and it made me feel kind of yucky. So I definitely think some people overdo it. |
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Miss Moppet |
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Posts: 32914 (04/02/09 7:26 PM) Reporter Cheese |
Even if I didn't really "believe" a compliment given at a time of distress, what I would take away is "Zan is trying to make me feel
better." I mean, it's kind of churlish on the part of the recipient to question your motives, isn't it? It's like telling someone their gift
isn't good enough for you.
I do understand the extravagant overcompliments, though. I have a former colleague who like that -- I'm the best writer in the world! I'm awesome! Pulitzers are right around the corner! I'm known from coast to coast! He just read my last story, and my last story was great! Except...not so much. But that's just the way he is and I've learned to tune out a lot of that. There's worse things in the world. |
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NateyLA |
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Posts: 2535 (04/02/09 7:26 PM) Too Sexy For This Cheese |
I'm much more comfortable complimenting actions than looks. I don't feel the need to filter the thought "good job" as much as a looks-based
compliment. If I notice something good about someone, I run the phrase through my head first in case it might accidentally come out as a backhanded compliment
before I give it out. But I also feel that compliments should be spontaneous. It's not the idea that you're meeting with someone later and you need to
make sure you say something nice about them when you see them.
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Original Dedicated Fan |
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Posts: 4101 (04/02/09 9:30 PM) Booker T. and the M Cheese |
I find it baffling that someone would have a hard time giving a compliment because he was too afraid of sounding insincere, but we're all different. The
only compliment that I would automatically assume to be insincere is one given to you immediately by someone that you have just complimented, as if it were a
reflex, as follows:
First woman: Is that a new blouse? It looks great on you! Second woman: Thanks. I like your blouse, too. As for difficulty in accepting compliments gracefully, I'm not sure if that is a woman-thing or a people thing, but I have found that the proper solution is to say, "Thank you." And nothing else. But I agree with MM that there is somethin wrong with a person who says that he wants to give compliments but can never quite bring himself to do so, because he is afraid that he will be thought to have ulterior motives. |
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