Morals and Ethics

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (zan) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 10:02:48 GMT

You were being helpful. While you probably should have left a little note to your neighbors that you found this on the side door, it should not be too hard for the Fed Ex folks to realize that they should leave the package at the front of the complex. I wouldn't feel guilty about it, they'll figure it out.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (ChocolateCherry) — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:15:50 GMT

I tried to do something nice and helpful and now I'm feeling guilty. My apartment cbuilding has 2 sets of doors, one set goes to the parking lot and the other set goes to a side street that travels through the complex. The only people who use the side street doors are delivery men, people dropping off/picking up someone and those going for a walk around the complex.

If you have a delivery the men can't get in the lobby to leave it and the front office won't take it so...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (SpringBarb) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:21:32 GMT

I saw a documentary about Jerome Robbins recently, and he wound up giving some names to the HUAC. Like the others, he had his reasons--namely, he was bi or gay (I can't remember which) and Ed Sullivan (!) basically blackmailed him into it; Robbins had been vaguely involved with communists during the 1930s, I believe, but quit quickly. Anyway, it totally changed my perception of everyone involved. The documentary had footage of the daughter of two of the people he named, and she was...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (zan) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:19:07 GMT

Randy Cohen has a really interesting post up on his New York Times Ethicist blog about Bud Schulberg and separating the artist from the art. Schulberg wrote "On The Waterfront" and also named names to House Un-American Activities Committee.

The only thing I would add, which Cohen fails to but several people in the comments section note, is that Schulberg's reasons for...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (LadyGayle81) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 15:17:35 GMT

Thanks for the kind words, everybody. I'm feeling calmer and more settled today. The news just threw me for a major loop.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (Stellaluna69) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 01:39:48 GMT

LG, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm not sure if it helps, but I'll say it anyway: it wasn't your fault, what he did to you or what he might have done to others. Not one bit.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (FinnanHaddie) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 22:37:33 GMT

I'll second everything zan & Moppet have said. As another survivor of child sexual abuse, I know all too well the feeling of guilt over not telling, and that talking to a counselor with experience in this area, or even to a suppor group, can really help a lot and relieve you of the guilt you feel that really doesn't belong to you.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with being relieved or glad he's dead, because now you know for...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (zan) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:09:07 GMT

Moppet is correct, you are not responsible for the behavior of someone else. He is the one who was responsible for his own actions and you cannot own his issues. Also, you were a child and you cannot hold yourself childhood self to the standards of an adult.

But this is why I do think that it is important for you to get counseling. Your story is not uncommon - whether or not it is technically a "repressed" memory, it is not...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (Miss Moppet) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:01:34 GMT

NO. *You* are not responsible for what he did. He is the only one who is responsible for his actions. I understand the thought process you're going through. But you were just a kid, trying to cope the best way you knew how.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (LadyGayle81) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:43:55 GMT

Yes, you're right, zan It's funny, I didn't even realize that I hadn't actually stated it explicitly. Habit, I suppose. I've never told anybody, except one friend.

I couldn't tell my mom, Moppet. She would absolutely freak out and the whole situation would blow up. She would never be able to keep it to herself, either.

I've been able to mostly forget it ever happened, I rarely think about it. Except now I can't stop thinking...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (Miss Moppet) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 14:13:10 GMT

LG, do you think that you can broach the subject with your mother? I can understand perfectly well if you feel like the answer to that is no. I just feel so bad for you! There's a lot of deep feelings swirling around and I just want you to have an outlet for them.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (zan) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 13:55:54 GMT

LadyGayle, it sounds as if you were the victim of some kind of sexual molestation? If so, I am sorry. And if that is the case, it is never too late to seek some kind of counseling for that kind of victimization. And counseling can help you work through your feelings of guilt on both points. I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty but I know it is not uncommon for survivors of sexual abuse to feel that way. And, in any case, my saying...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (LadyGayle81) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 12:53:14 GMT

My mom called me this morning to tell me that the son of a friend of hers had died Thursday. She was upset, and I couldn't really comfort her because I was upset myself and I couldn't tell her why.

This guy (who I haven't seen in well over a decade) did something awful to me once, when I was little, and I never told anyone. I feel guilty about that because I doubt I was the only one and perhaps I could have prevented that and now it's too late for any kind of...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (Miss Moppet) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:03:44 GMT

A woman who frequently panhandles outside the parking garage where I park (I greet her, but have never given her money) told me once that my skirt was hiked up. The whole exchange, which was like 2 seconds long, left me filled with guilt. Why don't I give her money? Why do I rush past her instead of chatting with her like other people do? Why am I such an awful person?

You can pack a lot of guilt into a brief exchange.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (iMissEthan) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 10:43:58 GMT

I'm feeling bad for something I didn't do this morning. When I was walking from the subway to work, a very nice looking woman was walking towards me. She was wearing a shorter than knee cotton knit dress that was hiked way up on her right side by her bag. I noticed her coming towards me & I didn't say anything to her about it. I did turn around once she passed and there was no butt or underwear showing, but I'm sure she was revealing more than she realized.

It...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (FinnanHaddie) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:25:02 GMT

A great many experiences change DNA, but this is in terms of altering gene expression, not changing genes from biological parents' to surrogate parent's. This woman sounds like she also believes that birth marks are caused by the mother being frightened during pregnancy.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (HannaA) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:56:15 GMT

ChocolateCherry wrote:

How does that work? Donated sperm. Donated Egg., but by living in her womb the baby will have her face? Is their some scientific evidence for that?

A new study actually shows that C-section stress changes DNA, but yeah, she's not playing with a full deck.

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (ChocolateCherry) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:47:47 GMT

She explained: 'It's important that I carry the baby myself because I believe that even if I get pregnant with a donated egg I will pass genetic material on to the baby while I carry it in the womb.

'I believe the baby will look more like me that way.'

...

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (Miss Moppet) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:42:58 GMT

Oh my word.

One thing I can say about British newspapers, they are much more ready to call someone out for foolish behavior (like trying to go through IVF at age 72.)

Re: Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (HannaA) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:36:10 GMT

Before I clicked on CC's link I thought you were talking about this woman.

Morals and Ethics

feeds@yuku.com (nirbas) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:08:46 GMT

Is it ethical to let the thread go way over 300 posts?